Can You Go a Little Further?

Photo: Frerieke

I’m writing this because a close friend of mine is headed, very likely, for another knee surgery. I know – not the end of the world – but each of us has our own cross to bear and each cross is heavy no matter how light they might appear from the outside or compared to someone else.

Life doesn’t give you much really. It gives you the starting ingredients – sort of. Sometimes you get born with all your hands and toes. You get born into a loving family. You get a home, running water. You get a solid education. A phone. A job you like and a person you love. You get enough to get in trouble too.

But sometimes, things don’t go the way you want them to go. An accident. An injury. A surgery. An illness. A bankruptcy. A child leaving home or worse, dying. Sometimes, it feels like Life just likes to dump on our heads and then chuckle.

All of these things, and many more, drag all sorts of words and thoughts into our heads. “I can’t do this”, “I’m scared”, “I can’t make it through”, “I’ll never be the same” – all of these things are the sirens of quitting and the liquor of complacency; of settling and borrowing trouble from the future and filling today with it.

When you heed these words, your life changes. You lose your spark. You lose something inside. Your heart cracks open like the Grand Canyon and you love for life falls into the abyss.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with quitting. I quit stuff routinely too. It’s ok. But only if you’ve really, inside, down where you are you, have asked your self this and answered totally honestly, “Can I go a little further? Can I sit with this ache, this pain, this fatigue, this failure for just a little longer? Can I take one more step?”

There’s always the option to yield to the crap falling from the sky. You can always create some sort of escape route. So, I’m not suggesting that you just, “Suck it up” and go blindly forward flailing at windmills.

No. I’m suggesting a thoughtful, kind introspection. One that says,”Can I go a little further?” without judgement about the answer. It’s about getting honest with your self moment to moment to moment. This is where life is lived.

Pema Chodron once said, “Once you know that the purpose of life is to walk forward and continuously use your life to wake up rather than to put you to sleep, then there’s that sense of wholeheartedness about inconvenience.”

Injuries, illness, surgeries can make your life really inconvenient. But therein lies the opportunity to develop your whole heart and wake up and live your life – to be resilient; to overcome; to step through the crap falling from the sky; to be The Real You.

If you can go a little further, you’ll make one bit of progress toward something magnificent; something remarkable. You’ll create a “wholeheartedness” about life and you’ll step toward a life that’s healthier; not perfect. But healthier. You’ll learn where your line of resilience lives. And move it. You’ll live a life a being alive and awake; not complaining and asleep.

I know my friend will keep stepping forward but, you know, it sometimes takes a village to heal an injury. And so, I, and other friends, will hold her hand and gently say, “Can you go a little further?”

Now, who do you know that needs your hand and your words to help them heal their heart and take one more step?